Divorce is one of the worst experiences that many children might face in their lives.
When they come to know that their parents no longer stay together and move to the court seeking divorce, sure it would not be trivial to the children. They never consider these issues in a lighter sense; they attach highly sensitive feelings with it. More than the couples themselves, the children would be the worst victims after the divorce of their parents. The couples concerned cannot keep their children away from undergoing mental harassments and tortures. Though they cannot prevent their children from the trauma, they could at least try to minimise the degree of depression felt by their children.However, for this they need to compromise on certain issues. If the couples keep on fighting for arriving at a consensus on vital issues such as division of matrimonial property, spousal maintenance and child custody and so on, it would have a serious negative impact on their children directly.
According to the Office for National Statistics, in the UK, nearly half of the children witness their parents’ divorce. Divorce is not merely a single event, but it is a chain process. The children of the divorced parents would have witnessed the negative interactions between them and the need to undergo life transitions. Each and every move of the parents would have the capability to influence the children directly. That is why it is always advisable to settle all the issues amicably and also to continue the relationship cordially, as much as possible, even after divorce.
The divorce can be in either of the ways- contested or uncontested. If the couples decided to get divorce and settle all the issues mutually outside the court room, then the divorce would be uncontested. In these types of divorce, the couples need not appoint a solicitor. However, if the couples have disputes over one or many issues and even if one spouse is unwilling to give a divorce, then it would be contested. Under this type of divorce, it is very difficult for the couples to come to terms mutually. Most of the couples prefer uncontested divorce proceedings, as it is less time-consuming and cheaper than the cost of litigation.
The divorce of the parents makes the children feel for the loss of either of the parents. There are chances that the children might feel depressed and hope that they have lost their future. Having these dreadful thoughts in their minds, they strive hard to cope with the new family circumstances, i.e. minus a parent. The moment they come to know that they have missed the warmth of one of their parents, they feel insecure and dejected. As an outcome, the performance of the children in schools will not be up to the mark and they also suffer from lack of concentration. One could also see psychological and behavioural problems in these children. In case of teenagers, their pains and agonies are more and they tend to shun themselves away from the social activities and also from other persons. They also misbehave due to excessive feelings of distress.
So, the parents must be careful enough to keep their children away from these pains. Once they have decided to separate, they should make sure that the reasonable expectations of their children are taken care of. For this, they need to settle things amicably, i.e.the various issues regarding the divorce. They should clearly draw a line between their own problematic issues and responsibilities pertaining to the children.
Many scientific studies clearly elicit the fact that divorce has negative impacts on the children. A study involving 80,000adults, who had undergone mental tortures in their childhood due to the parental divorce, revealed that the children of divorced parents have less concentration on academics, lower standard of living, emotional and psychological problems.There are chances that they might also encounter a marital separation with their partners in the future.
Several studies have revealed that when the divorced parents continue to show love and affection towards their children and maintain cordial relationship with them, they might reduce the mental harassments of the children. If the parents try to seek uncontested divorce, then there will be a great relief experienced by the children. Researches have revealed that the ongoing process of divorce and its implications on the children are more severe and have direct impact on them. However, if the couples really want to avoid this, they might opt for uncontested divorces.
