One of the most vexed issues pertaining to divorce is the concept of division. Everything is divided, right from business, marital home, cars, jewellery, silverware, furniture, costly paintings, etc. But one important division that is gut wrenching emotionally is the division of the family. Parents, who are unable to reach a conclusive decision, battle with all their might for the custodial rights of their children. They might have equitably split all the other things that related to a life led together. Accords would have been easily reached for all the things that could be monetarily assessed. But, how do parents decide the physical custodial rights of their children? Children are valueless. Someone rightly said that, after the birth of the children, the parent’s heart lives outside the body.
Just as both the parents long for their children; even the children fervently hope that their parents reside together with them. Living with one parent decidedly means reduced interaction with the other.
Indeed, the family courts are faced with a tough decision when they are called to decide child custodial issues.
Criteria for Deciding the Contentious Child Custodial Issue
- Child welfare is the paramount criteria on which the courts decide child custodial issue.
- The preference of the children is also given due importance.
- However, very small children are usually placed in the custody of the mother.
- And if the divorcing couple has more than one child, siblings are not separated.
- The pleas of both the parents for physical custodial rights are treated equally. For, in the eyes of law, both the parents share an equal status.
- Even if the children reside with one parent the other parent holds the right to parenting.
The legal system of the
treated in a generalised fashion for every case is unique. The courts analyse the nature of employment of either spouse and decides which parent can give the maximum amount of time to the children. Decisions are also influenced by the past routine maintained at the home front. Custodial rights are given to the parent who was able to provide the maximum nurturing care.
The courts might also award joint physical custodial rights if the case merits so. The children live with both the parents, though the time is not exactly divided equally. However, a consistent schedule is maintained and this system works well, provided both the parents reside in the same locality. But in the majority of the cases the children reside with one parent who was the basic care giver and the other parent enjoys visitation rights.
Is the Mother the Basic Care Giver Always?
Usually, the mother is the basic care giver and children reside with her after the divorce. This decision is arrived at to minimise the disruption in the daily routine of the young lives. Though mothers are the primary nurturers, whether they make good single parents is dictated by circumstantial conditions.
Do Mothers Make Good Single Parents?
If the mother was a ‘stay at home mom,’ the reduced income in the post divorce period makes her proceed towards the job market. The entire situation at home undergoes a change. It becomes unfeasible for her, to provide enough attention to children after being overburdened with home and office work. Children who hitherto regaled in her undivided attention propel towards attention deficit acts. Moreover the reduced income also impacts them negatively.
In such a scenario it is worth musing if fathers make good single parents.
Do Fathers Make Good Single Parents?
A fatherly influence develops the social skills in children. Children learn to solve problems, understand the nuances of social interaction and handle disappointments and frustrations of life better. But apart from being rough and tough children also need the calming influence of motherly love.
Fathers take care of the children well, but handling the daily domestic routine is often not their forte. Meals get delayed and so do the bed timings. The disruption is severely felt in the first year after the divorce.
Children might stay with either parent. Single fathers are gradually replacing the mother in winning custodial rights for the children. But, who makes a better single parent is a question that can never be answered. The very term ‘single parent’ spells it all. Children need the nourishing care of a dual parent family for their healthy sustenance.
