Divorce Counselling

Divorce Counselling – Can it Make the Difference?

Are you at cross-roads regarding your divorce? Are you not able to decide on whether to stay married or not? On one hand, do you feel that you need to go ahead with the divorce and on the other, from deep within your heart, do you feel that you need to save your marriage? If it is so, do not worry.

In my opinion, the situation can really worsen and a marriage can travel in the direction of a break-up, when the couple stop interacting and communicating with each other on both the emotional and physical front. When each of the individual involved in a marriage relationship are not ready to compromise their stand on a particular issue, it slowly leads to a squabble and eventually it might lead to a divorce. 

Though you may have already decided to go in for a divorce, it does not necessarily mean that you need to stick with your decision at the end. If there is the slightest hope in the depths of your heart about saving this marriage, I would rather recommend that you give it a shot. If you are keen on working on your relationship and seek external help, I suggest that you get in touch with a divorce counsellor today. A divorce counsellor is primarily an arbitrator who tries to resolve the differences between the two individuals in question in an attempt to save their marriage.

How does a Divorce Counsellor Work?

I have had a chance to take a look at the happenings in a divorce counselling session and it is always interesting to watch one session. During such sessions, a divorce counsellor usually tries to touch many aspects of the divorce including the decision and the factors that led to such a decision. A typical approach to such sessions will be as follows:

  1. The divorce counsellor first has a one-on-one session with each of the couple and tries to draw a list of conflicting issues that has led to this decision. His main role will be to remove any subjectivity in the issue so that any decision that is to be taken as an outcome of this session is based on pure hard facts.
  2. In order to address each one of them, he prioritises each one of the issues in order of their severity.
  3. Subsequent to this, he tries to have a joint session with the couple during which he tries to bring them out of the divorce frame of mind by talking about all the wonderful things that we have around us. He aligns them mentally to help them accept happiness and disappointments within a relationship. He also touches upon the fact that one needs to accept the differences of the other gracefully for a successful married life.
  4. Instead of focussing on the differences, he tries to touch upon the common points in the relationship. To help each of them to understand better about the other, he tries to focus on the positive aspect of each individual. This is something that most people proceeding for a divorce fail to do.
  5. Now, having set the stage to deal with the controversies involved in the divorce, the divorce counsellor takes them one at a time. He analyses and explains to them the root cause for each of the controversies and also a solution that is acceptable to both. The couple try to arrive at a consensus by adopting a solution that best suits them.
  6. By and large, he tries to keep the session as an open forum where people can air their views. The objective of the entire session will be to reach an amicable agreement for both. 

Divorce Counselling: The Final Word

All your reconciliation efforts are really worth the try, especially when it means that you continue living with the one you share a past with. Today, in the UK alone, every one out of two marriages ends in a divorce. In many of these cases, the couple have a major point of disagreement or the so called irreconcilable differences on a particular issue. If we are able to address this major point of controversy, all marriages can be saved. This is where the professional help of a divorce counsellor can come in handy.  

All that you need to do is to approach such a professional with an open mind. Let us try giving it a shot even before saying a ‘No’ to it.  After all, you have a major responsibility of preserving our families, don’t you?

Article: Divorce Counselling

Created on: 2007-08-21 10:26:04