Often couples are aware when their marriage is in trouble. But there are people who become aware of it only when they receive a divorce notice. For many couples it is so sudden that it takes time for them to recover from it.
One feels awfully cheated and betrayed in case they have dedicated the valuable years of their life in building up the marriage, home and the children. It comes as a slap after all the hard work that as gone into it.
There might be a situation when your spouse wants a divorce whereas you don’t. In such a case there are certain factors that you need to understand.
- All relationships are not 100% perfect and most of the time they do not work out the way we want them to. However, this does not mean that you are not capable of entering into a long lasting and successful relationship in future. Do not lose faith in ourselves.
- It is human nature to push away someone who rejects us out of self defense and behave badly towards them. Try to build an environment which will ease the tension and not entangle it further in the best interest of yourself and your children.
- Relationship is mutual fulfillment of needs. You can’t force someone to love you and stay with you forever. If the person really loves you he/she will come back to you.
- Try and give space your spouse needs. Consider a temporary separation instead of a divorce and see if things work out for you.
In case of a sudden demand for divorce, the first thing that you need to do is to straighten things up. Try talking it out. No matter how tempted you may be to snap back at your spouse, it is always advisable to maintain a clam attitude and try to discuss things out.
Ask yourself if the subject of divorce has come out all of a sudden or was it building up since a long time. Are you in any way responsible for such a step? Is your unreasonable behaviour driving your spouse away? If the answer is yes then you might have to work towards making the relationship work.
In most case the real reason behind his intentions of proposing a divorce is an extra marital affair. Would you be able to forgive his behaviour and lead a normal life with trust towards your spouse?
If your partner is still adamant on a divorce, here are few steps you need to take up immediately.
1. Hire a Good Solicitor
Get a good and experienced solicitor immediately. Consult him; brief him with the case history. Going ahead with the divorce without a solicitor would be really difficult.
Don’t move out of your marital house if you have children. Once you move out, the case for custody of children weakens. Try to avoid hostility and entering into an argument with your spouse while staying together.
This is necessary to restrain your spouse from moving your children. Make sure that your spouse knows that you have the same rights on the children as he.
Keep all your papers and records such as birth certificate, pension papers, diplomas etc. in a safe place.
Have a meeting with your spouse and cancel all the joint accounts that you have with him. Open an independent account and transfer the money into that account. You will be needing money later.
Inform your spouse and cancel all the joint credit cards so that your spouse des not go on a shopping spree and you end up paying the bills later.
Take a stock of your possessions. Make a list of major items you own like automobiles, jewelry, furniture, appliances and everything else that is valuable. You will require possessing them later.
In case your spouse wants you to sign something, politely refuse it saying you need to consult your solicitor.
During the trial you may have to face false allegations by your spouse’s solicitor. Prepare yourself before -hand with the replies. Your solicitor will help you with this.
