Divorce profoundly affects children. About 45% of the children in the
Impact of Divorce on Teenage Kids
The way the child reacts to their parents divorce varies with age. Though teenagers may seem mature but often they take the break-up of the family badly. They may blame one or both the parents for breaking up and at times can be very censorious in front of others. In majority of cases teenagers blame themselves for this break-up.
Teens go through a complete emotional turmoil and feel terribly sad, angry, depressed, rejected and insecure because their parents are divorcing. It is the responsibility of the parents to be open and talk to them and reassure them that divorce is not their fault.
There will be ups and downs in the process of divorce but with time they may even discover that their parents are happier after the divorce. They may learn to be more responsible and caring after the split up. Coping up with the divorce may bring out hidden strength and maturity in them.
Child Custody after Divorce
When parents divorce, the courts intervene to determine the custody of the children. They consider various factors before reaching a decision which is in the best interest of the children. If the child is old enough the court will take their preference into account in making a decision.
It can give both the parents a joint legal custody wherein decisions regarding the child’s future are taken jointly or sole custody to one parent who will single-handedly be responsible for taking major decisions.
Split-Sibling Custody
Divorcing parents with more than one child sometimes go in for split-sibling custody in which the kids are divided between the parents. The arrangement is typically such that “boys-go-with-Dad-and-girls-go-with-Moms”. But this type of custody is quite rare and ordered only if both the parents are agreeable on it. This could be ordered if one parent does not feel capable enough to care of all the children.
Bird’s Nesting Custody
This is a new form of joint custody with a twist. The children reside full time in the family home and the parents take turns moving in and out. This form of custody is easily adaptable for couples who have to travel to far off places. It works well with the group of people who can stay civil while co-parenting as there is constant interaction with the ex-spouse. It is a little more expensive and is usually not chosen since finances are a major concern among divorcing couples.
Grandparents and Children
The increasing number of divorces also means increasing number of ‘divorced grandparents’. The ripples of divorce are felt all through the family and grandparents are the most vulnerable of the lot. Grandparents influence the children both directly and or indirectly. He is like a role model, stress-buster, supporter, watch-dog and an arbitrator for the child.
Nurturing the relationship between a grandparent and grandchild provides the child with enormous benefits that cannot be attained by any other relationships. But they are the ones who are deprived of contact with their grandchildren. So what should they do?
First, they should talk it out with the child’s parents and try and convince them that their sole aim is to maintain contact with the grandchild. Another method is mediation wherein both the parties meet and come to a mutually agreeable decision. The final option is to take the help of the court.
Pet Visitation after Divorce
During the trauma of divorce, pets are the last things that come to one’s mind. In case you want to be just to your pets, make sure that at the time of discussing the terms of divorce you include them. Consider the living arrangements before deciding with whom they will live with. Pets can be a source of real comfort after you split-up.
The Last Word
Divorce puts a strain on everyone in the family. It is a difficult adjustment for all concerned. It is an upsetting transition which hinders the development of a healthy human being. A well handled divorce can be a lesson to manage changes in life. Separating couples can sail through it by striving to make the divorce as amicable as possible.
