“It’s so long since I went on a date, I'm alone every weekend,” complained a 40 year old divorcee and mother of two. This is a predicament many people in the post-divorce period find themselves in. Countless single people all over the
One of the major reasons for the existence of such a scenario is the depressive phase people undergo after their traumatic experience. People, like to grieve alone, and they isolate themselves in this process. Isolation heightens divorce blues and unhappy people rarely go out. They thus trap themselves in a vicious circle.
If you are also in similar such situation, take a few positive steps to help yourself. You would soon realise that finding a date is not as difficult.
Finding a Partner in the Post - Divorce Period
Begin by taking stock of your emotions. Divorce leaves lingering bitterness, anger, resentment and other such negative emotions. Spend some time every day in the healing process. This could either be in the form of prayer, talking with a close friend or developing a hobby. Indulge in all those activities that pleasures you; it helps fade the remnants of unhappy feelings.
Once you are emotionally free, you can forge into new relationships. New people can be found in all sorts of places. Go to the coffee shop closest to your house. Many people of different ages and nationalities walk in there. It is also a decent place to go alone. Other socially frequented venues like the grocery store, swimming pool, gym, church, etc are places where you can find potential partners. However one source that attracts the maximum number of people is the internet. Online dating sites provide a secure environment, where you can browse through and make informed choices of developing online relationship with genuinely interested people. You might well meet an old long lost friend too!
Register in an online dating site. They need your profile. Develop one and post it. You can soon expect calls from other like minded people. However take care to create a good profile. Remember, that your profile must get noticed among the hundreds of others that have already been posted.
Profile Writing
Be honest while you write. If you are looking for serious relationships, indicate it in your profile title. You have to follow up the title with a self description. Split up this descriptive part into paragraphs to make it more interestingly readable. Write your likes, dislikes, qualities, etc. Do not include superficial details and avoid phrases like ‘I enjoy smelling flowers or watching birds.’ When you are writing about yourself, write what is important to you in life and dwell on the values you appreciate. Avoid merely stating that you are sincere or honest. It makes no sense unless it is substantiated by succinct facts.
Fill the next paragraph with the qualities you are looking for in a date. If you have any strong or specific requirements, do not fail to mention them. For example some animal lovers strongly prefer dating vegetarian people only.
Finally, be sure to include a few of your latest and best photographs. This will really get you noticed.
Apprehensions Felt by Your Date
Some people do not like to date a divorced person. They generally want to meet unmarried people. This is a matter of individual choice and never let these biased preferences dissuade or discourage you. However, on a more specific note, people are afraid that the divorced carry emotional baggage. This fear makes them apprehensive. If you have negative feelings associated about your ex, dislodge such emotions before you enter the dating arena. Do not believe that camouflaging feelings is sufficient. Emotions project their existence innocuously at the most inappropriate times.
Prospective mates also find it difficult to date divorced people who have children. Children require much care and attention. Lower aged children need parental care for having their physical needs met, while older children require attention for their emotional development. Unmarried people are generally concerned about the prospect of meeting a partner who is either tied down to domestic responsibility or who has not got over the past. However, divorced people are more empathetic.
Look for a prospective date, at least two years after your divorce. Healing time is necessary. Marriages are a union of two souls. Do not be in a hurry to marry on the rebound and use the marital institution to seek vengeance on your ex spouse.
