A father can be a mom too. It is quite possible. A mother is a loving figure, who imparts the basic care to her children. Fathers can also turn primary providers, with ease and aplomb. Men of this decade are comfortable with being a mom too. Whereas, this was a role, they were thrust into, in the 70s and early 80s, either by death of the spouse or by divorce.
If you are a single parent to your child, chances are that you will find it difficult initially. Well, difficult might be a simple term. You might experience sheer panic at the very prospect. Even your children must have balked at the idea. Here is a singular suggestion for all men who have recently turned single dads. Take care of yourself first. This may sound odd to you for your children might need your attention more. However, you can do justice to your new role only if you take good care of yourself first.
Meditate, exercise and have a healthy diet. Meet a counsellor. Get a grip over your feelings. Lingering anger soon turns to bitterness that percolates down to the children. Let your children accompany you to the counselling sessions. A positive emotional frame of mind is necessary. Only then can you delve into turning the daily routine at home into a systematically functioning unit.
Organising Life
Being an effective dad and a mom at the same time is a herculean task. This is a role, Mother Nature has formulated for two people. Singularly performing the job of two adults requires plenty of planning. You can also seek tips from similarly placed single dads, or seek online help.
- First, eliminate all the unnecessary chores that are done around the house.
- If you are planning to turn workaholic to drown you sorrow, change your plans immediately. Your children need your time.
- Try to execute two jobs simultaneously, wherever possible. For example, helping children with their studies is not a job that necessitates your continuous attention. Teach them while attending to some other job that requires little effort.
Turn strong, emotionally. Only a strong person can prove to be a source of strength and support to the young ones.
- Be confident about the future. Your attitude will help allay the fear of your children.
- Involve your children in decisions pertaining to organising the home front, planning the menus, etc. In short, let them decide issues pertaining to their life. However, never make the mistake of treating them as equals.
- Finally, shift to a place that is close to the residence of your friends or relatives. They prove to be of immense help in times of need.
Systematising the Daily Routine
Preparing meals is extremely difficult. As a single father who is just slipping into the role, you might not be too sure of the likes and dislikes of your children. Ask your children, what they would like for the week. Shop your weekly supplies at one time. However, before you step into the kitchen to prepare meals, clean your kitchen of unnecessary clutter. This gives you more room space to work efficiently.
In spite of the preparation, you would find it difficult to get the children ready for school. The problem begins by finding the right set of school clothes. Organise these by placing all the requisite clothing in a hanger. This makes it visible and easily accessible for the children.
Single fathers have proved that it takes them a few weeks to get things on the home front under control. Fathers have a natural flair when it comes to involving themselves into the lives of their sons. They are not so free, when it comes to handling their daughters.
Fathers and Their Daughters
A mother proves easily supportive of her daughter’s needs. Fathers fumble. They turn overprotective. If you have a daughter in your care, ensure that you teach her the basic problem-solving skills. This would make her mature and independent.
Another crisis-prone period occurs when your daughter enters adulthood. This is a zone fathers are unfamiliar with. You can help your daughter by either being open and honest with her. Alternately, you can approach a trusted mentor who would help you out. This mentor could either be your sister, mother, a good friend, etc.
These are few hurdles you might face, being a single parent to your children. Some planning and effort are required to perform your role well. However, do not neglect yourself in this process.
