We all like fairytale endings and want to believe in “happily ever after”. However, life usually begins where a fairytale ends. In story books we never quite know what happens after the Prince and Princess ride off into the sunset. Reality shows us that the true test of love happens after one is married. Living with a person opens our eyes to aspects of their personality we never noticed before.
What might appear as an attractive trait during courtship might turn out to be a weakness after marriage. In real life, divorce occurs between the best of couples.
When Marriage isn’t a Bed of Roses
When a couple enters into matrimony, it is with a lot of love, hope and expectations. Marriage requires a lot of compromise between two people. It can be the happiest association when it works. However, even a good marriage needs constant care and attention. When people begin taking each other for granted and stop making an effort, trouble begins.
Career demands, home responsibilities and looking after children, can take its toll. Partners stop appreciating each other and the chemistry vanishes. Slowly but surely, life together becomes an un-enjoyable chore and a couple might start thinking in terms of separating.
There are other instances when temptation comes calling. Careers require people to travel and interact with different people. Being alone on frequent trips, a weak partner might give in to the moment and have an affair. Sometimes, couples can put behind an infidelity and move on. However, most times an indiscretion by one of the partners can cause a great rift.
Marriage might also not seem a bed of roses, when a partner is abusive, an alcoholic or a control freak. One may not pay too much attention to signs of dysfunctional behaviour, while dating. These signs turn into full fledged character flaws and become hell to live with.
When Divorce is Liberating
Every marriage has its shares of ups and downs. Couples are encouraged to work out minor differences and not give up on a marriage. If a career leaves a partner with no time for home, it is an issue that can be worked out. If a couple has different interests, they can discover new common interests. If a partner has made a mistake once and is repentant, it can be forgiven. A marriage is too precious to give up easily.
However, there are times when a marriage is nothing but a prison. If a partner is an alcoholic without wanting to reform, it can be hell to live with. If a person is physically or emotionally abused, the marriage is a farce. Sometimes, a partner can be a control freak and a person loses all sense of identity.
When a marriage has no way of getting on the right track, divorce might be the only answer. While it might be hard work making a marriage work, but the bottom line is, it should make both partners happy. If life is anything but happy, then divorce can be truly liberating.
People who have walked out of a bad marriage rediscover life and themselves. They feel free and truly alive after a very long time. Walking out of a bad marriage gives them the incentive to get back into shape, socialise, travel and take up interests they had no time for.
A New Beginning
As long as a person knows that they gave marriage their best shot and it didn’t work, the possibilities after divorce are immense. No longer is one constrained by negative circumstances. A person’s self-esteem might have taken a beating and divorce offers the opportunity to regain confidence.
Just because a person made a mistake once does not mean there cannot be a second chance at love. Getting divorced and putting an unhappy marriage behind allows a person the chance to get it right the second time around. Especially in today’s day and age, divorce does not have a stigma attached or is considered a social taboo. Therefore, getting divorced can, in some cases, prove to be liberating.
Conclusion
Even experts cannot give a perfect recipe to make a marriage work. This is because every single person is so different from the other and one cannot predict a perfect combination. Yes, there are a few basic requirements that go into making a successful marriage. Beyond that, a relationship depends solely on the two people involved. If the association is not a happy one, both people should move on and find happiness wherever it may be. Marriage should be a happy union and not bondage to be maintained at any cost.
