Most divorce proceedings appear to flow so smoothly that, even before you know it, the divorce is finalized. The hidden factor that the rest of society does not get to see, most often, is the deep down feeling in the minds and heart of the affected, that they have been given a raw deal, at the end of it all.
We are not talking only about the financial compensation, here. During the course of the divorce proceedings, many a time it is obvious that one of the partners is in a position of strength to dictate the favourable outcome of the divorce process in his / her favour, while the other partner is in a mode of hesitation regarding the necessity of the entire process or has simply been mentally subdued.
In these cases, it is clear that the instrument of divorce is being unfairly used by the dominant partner to legally eject the other person from their life, without being held accountable for their fair share in this vexatious exercise.
Relationships as marriage, which are frequently punctuated by domestic violence, are prime examples of how the negotiations between the partners are on unequal terms. The person who wants to get away from the abuse will want to get away from it all as quickly as possible. So, even if the terms and conditions offered by the violent partner were unfair, the affected partner would relent and agree to the conditions, in order to achieve the goal of getting away as quickly as possible.
Ignorance of law is not an excuse. However, this maxim cannot be applied to the divorce proceedings. Why would somebody want to know about divorce laws, unless they were planning for a divorce? So, without being aware of the provisions of divorce laws, either of the partners (or both) rush headlong into initiating divorce, only to discover that there are so many factors that will have to be handled and that they are incapable of handling it themselves. There are situations when your spouse may be aware of the law and is also determined to extract the maximum financial benefit from you. You do not stand a fair chance unless you contest it.
Uncontested divorce may be the least expensive way to divorce. Yet, if your partner is not going to come around to the negotiating table or is expecting unrealistic demands to be met, the money spent on the process is a waste of time, energy and money. In fact, the unrealistic sums of money spent on satisfying greedy partners can be considered a saving, if the forum of the Court is allowed to set fair conditions for the divorce.
What if there are children involved or the partner is not in a position to make ends meet, the quantum of alimony (if left to the choice of the couple) would end up as a protracted haggle and invariably be lop-sided. Let the fairness of the law decide the alimony. Get your lawyer to present the structure of your financial support. It definitely will be a better deal than you handling it alone. You also get a legal backing for the continuance of the commitment.
The law clearly understands that divorce is a major decision that could shape a person’s outlook on life and affect a person accordingly. So, the law will strive for a harmonious balance between the urgency of one partner and the right of the other to ensure that the proceedings are fair. After all, in a just world, everything is said to be fair in love and war.
Despite all these precautions and good intentions, it involves a lot of hard work, communication and fairness to settle complex parenting issues, property settlements etc. You cannot expect the lawyer of your spouse, to take a sympathetic and fair view of your requirements and feelings. There is also the case where there may be no intentional exploitation of the situation. Therefore, in order to balance the proceedings and to ensure that you also get to represent your facts and viewpoints before the final settlement, there is no alternative but to contest the divorce; that is if you want a level playing field.
