Divorce signals the end of a life that one has built with so much care, the end of a life that one had promised to keep for a lifetime. It is unfortunately an increasing trend that leaves behind a lot of pain and despair.
The End of a Dream
Everyone wants to see a couple who are in love, come together in wedded bliss. It is the start of a new positive innings and one that is a significant occasion. When people get married, they anticipate only the positive aspects of a life together. Reality is different from those rose-tinted dreams. Traits of a partner that were not so obvious before marriage become a sore point. A couple discover they have less in common and, slowly but surely, the dream turns into a nightmare.
The sad part of divorce is the disillusionment. A person has to accept that a lifetime commitment could not be upheld. The dream of a wonderful life together has ended forever. There is a finality to divorce that makes it hard for a person to come to terms with.
An Expensive End
Not only is divorce mentally exhausting, it is also financially depleting. One would imagine that ending a relationship should not cost more than the emotional upheaval. Unfortunately, the process of divorce is expensive and divorce lawyers can charge the earth. If a partner who isn’t working files for divorce, it can be very difficult to incur the related expense. Though there are cheap DIY options available, it is not always suited for a particular divorce case. A long-drawn divorce battle can set a person back by quite a hefty sum.
Division of Assets
Monetarily, divorce is not very beneficial to either party. Assets have to be divided between the two partners, which makes it half the value than if they both owned all of it together. One partner might have to provide a monthly alimony which affects the bank balance. Even the partner who receives the alimony has less money than joint resources.
Having a lower income usually affects the standard of living of people, post-divorce. Instead of a single home there are two different homes to run with a lesser income. People have to make significant changes and may have to give up some indulgences, in order to live within their means. The financial consequences of divorce are definitely not very positive.
Negative Impact on Children
While a couple is usually emotionally drained when they get divorced, the worst long term impact is possibly on the children. The scars of a divorce can remain with children and define the adults they become. They lose out on the security of living with both parents. They feel torn between the two people they love the most.
The life they have always known changes permanently and they are faced with an uncertain future. If a divorce is bitter, they get drawn in the middle of it and can have a deep psychological impact. While adults may eventually be able to put the divorce behind and move on, for children it is an ongoing reality as the divorced partners continue being their parents.
Impact on Other Relationships
When two people get married, they forge new ties and establish new relationships. A partner’s family becomes extended family and friends become common friends. The difficult part of divorce is that it also leads to the severing of most relationships, established after marriage. It is difficult to have to leave behind more relationships than one and to have to move on. The experience can be a very alienating one and can leave a person feeling very lonely and depressed.
Conclusion
There are very few occasions when divorce can be described as a happy experience. Even in the case of a really bad marriage, one is left with a feeling of failure and low self-esteem. Nobody gets married wanting it to end. It is not like a bad purchase that can be returned without any attachment. A divorce involves people’s emotions, their sensibilities and their beliefs. All of this gets negatively impacted and leaves a person in a vulnerable state. The ending of a relationship can never be described in joyous terms.
