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Are you unhappy in your marriage? If you’re answer to this question is an unequivocal yes, then you’ve no doubt already considered divorcing your spouse. Our feelings for our loved ones simply do not disappear overnight, however, and it’s therefore also likely that you’re considering ways of mending your marriage and avoiding divorce. We here at Quickie Divorce have therefore pooled our extensive knowledge and prepared some tips designed to help you rekindle and keep the spark that once made your marriage so special, here goes: Think it over and communicate If you’re unhappy, you really need to discuss things with your partner. Don’t dive into this head first, though, you’ll become flustered and won’t be able to communicate effectively. Worse yet, you could become defensive and get your spouse’s back up – hardly conducive to a reconciliatory conversation. Before talking things through with your partner, sit down and work out exactly why you’re unhappy. When you feel ready, talk to your partner and discuss your feelings with them. Make sure you remain calm and, above all else, are ready to acknowledge that you are responsible for some of the problems in your relationship too. One spouse rarely shoulders sole responsibility for all of the problems in a marriage and you must acknowledge this in order for you and your partner to reconcile your differences. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page Following this discussion, you and your partner should agree that you both want to work at your marriage, that past events are now behind you and that it’s time to move on. Unfortunately, if your partner does not agree and wants to separate, then – short of attempting to convince them otherwise – you need to accept your position and consider your options. Don’t worry about arguments (too much) It is a myth that arguments are a sign of an unhappy marriage. Rather, the fact that both partners are willing to engage in healthy debate – or even heated arguments – is a clear signifier that passion still exists within their relationship. Furthermore, conflict is an inevitable part of marriage, but it’s by no means a reason to walk away from your relationship. In our experience, it’s far worse when one spouse, or even both, no longer even have the energy to argue and are instead willing to accept anything that their partner says or does. This is a sure sign that your partner is no longer willing to ‘fight’ to make your marriage work and requires immediate action. Share some interests Whilst it’s perfectly healthy to have different interests and spend some time apart, the importance of making time for each other and, more importantly, enjoying this time, is of paramount importance. Think about what you enjoy and how you can share it with your partner. This could be as simple as talking a walk together, helping each other to prepare a family meal or even attend a class with one another. Alternatively, take an interest in some of your spouse’s favourite pastimes, however uninteresting they may seem. You never know, you might like them and you’ll earn significant brownie points. Make time for the things that you love Ok, this may appear to contradict the point that we’ve made above but recent research has shown that individuals that give up things they enjoy for the sake of their relationship often develop feelings of resentment towards their partners. So, make time for your friends, keep playing football on a Sunday morning and go to lunch with your girlfriends. Always remember, though, a little selfishness goes a long way and spending too much time away is likely to do more harm than good. Support each other With the modern world subjecting its occupants to consistent stress and pressure, developing a relationship where your partner feels protected is certain to create a happier atmosphere at home. So, talk to your spouse about their day, reassure them when they’re concerned and share household tasks. Trust us, your partner will soon reciprocate and you’ll find yourself in a much happier relationship. Trust each other We’ve all been tempted to read our partner’s emails or check their text messages, but all human beings require privacy and failing to respect this is almost certain to end in conflict. If, for any reason, you find yourself feeling suspicious of your partner’s actions, talk to them immediately; you’ll probably find out that you had nothing to worry about. Don’t be afraid to ask for help Last, but certainly not least, you should never be afraid to ask others for help. We’re not suggesting that you run to counselling every time something goes wrong, but there is a wealth of resources available to you from the internet to friends and relatives. Counselling may, at times be the best course of action if you are experiencing significant problems, but all relationships suffer from time to time and the advice of others can be greatly beneficial when problems do arise. If nothing else, merely knowing that others have had similar problems and provide comfort and remind you that nothing is beyond retrieval.