Following a divorce or, under some circumstances, even before one is finalised, people are usually very keen to return to their maiden names. To us, this is entirely understandable. Doing so can often be an important part of the process of ending a marriage' so much so that divorcees regularly inform us that it was when they returned to their maiden names that they truly felt that their marriage was at an end – even more so than when they received their Decree Absolute. So, for this reason, here’s our guide to changing your name following a divorce:
Reverting to your Maiden Name
Contrary to popular belief, if you simply wish to revert back to your maiden name, you won’t need a Deed Poll. Instead, all you’ll need is your Decree Absolute and your marriage certificate. Unfortunately, the court will probably still be in possession of the latter but don’t worry, you can get a new copy from the Register Office.
Changing your Surname to Something New
It’s actually very common for people to want a different surname but not to revert back to their maiden name, the most common reason being that they have found a new partner. In this instance, a Deed Poll is, unfortunately, essential and will need to be presented to all of the relevant companies and departments such as your bank, the passport office etc.
Reverting to your Maiden Name Before your Divorce is Finalised
As you will not yet have obtained your Decree Absolute, you will need to obtain a Deed Poll if you wish to revert back to your maiden name or change your surname before your divorce has been finalised. Whilst we appreciate why you may want to do this, though, we must advise you that it can cause complications, particularly if there’s documentation left for you to sign.
Changing your Children’s Name/s
If you wish to change your children’s surnames, you will need a Deed Poll that has been signed by all individuals that have parental responsibility for your child. To put it another way, the child’s mother/father will also have to agree to the change of name and indicate this by signing the document. If the child is over 16, then the child will need to complete and sign their own Deed Poll.
The more a couple spend on their wedding day, the more likely they are to divorce according to a recent study.
Researchers from Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia discovered that couples that spent more than £12,500 on their wedding were 3.5 times more likely to become divorced than couples that spent less. Academics also discovered that couples that spent between £1,250 and £2,500 were 1.3 times more likely to eventually dissolve their marriages.
On the other hand, it was also revealed that couples that spent less than £300 on their engagement ring were at an increased risk of divorce also.
The study, which was conducted by the aforementioned University’s department of economics, considered the responses of 3,000 Americans who were or had been married to members of the opposite sex.
Fortunately, the study also showed that couples who enjoy large attendances at their weddings and a honeymoon, irrespective of its cost, were more likely to enjoy long and successful marriages.
The average cost of a wedding in the UK is £24,700 according to Brides magazine whilst the same publication also reported that £2,451 was the average cost of an engagement ring.
Last week, esteemed High Court judge Mr Justice Mostyn suggested that women seeking divorce settlements from their husbands should refrain from beginning new relationships before said settlement is finalised and their marriages are legally dissolved; but why? Many would assume that this advice stems from that fact that, should an individual begin a new relationship whilst still legally married to their spouse, they would technically be committing an act of adultery and that this would result in a diminished settlement. This, however, is not the case. Irrespective of whether a spouse has committed adultery or acted unreasonably, it is extremely unlikely that this will have any impact upon a settlement. Rather, when determining a fair divorce settlement, judges must determine how best to divide the assets available in such a way as to meet both parties’ reasonable needs. As a result, should an individual commence a new and serious relationship prior to their settlement having been determined, it is reasonable to presume that their needs will diminish and the settlement figure will be adjusted accordingly. Arriving at a decision is likely to prove problematic, however: deciding whether or not a new relationship is likely to last is a difficult task, particularly if the romance has not brought about co-habitation. Indeed, as Mostyn himself point out: “One cannot make assumptions, if it is not full-blown cohabitation akin to marriage, that it will grow into that, because if it does not, the wife may be left stranded. On the other hand, if one makes a needs assessment on the basis that she is a single woman and she soon cohabits, then the paying party ... can rightfully feel significantly aggrieved.” So, whilst it would appear to be wise to avoid new relationships prior to your divorce being finalised the matter is, akin to virtually all else that exists within the world of law, highly contentious.
The happier a wife is with her marriage, the happier the husband is with life overall irrespective of how he feels about his marriage according to a recent survey. The study, which was conducted by Dr Deborah Carr of Rutgers University and has been published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, analysed the responses of 394 couples who took part in a survey concerning health, income and disability in 2009. Each of these couples had been asked several questions concerning their level of marital satisfaction such as whether or not they feel that their spouse appreciates them, how often they and their spouse argued with one another and how often they were irritated by their spouses. Couples were also asked to keep a detailed diary over a period of 24 hours within which they noted how satisfied they were whilst completing various tasks – such as shopping, household chores and watching television – with their spouses. Following respondent’s answers having been analysed, researchers concluded that, whilst those that reported being happier in their marriage were generally happier with life overall, husbands with low levels of marital satisfaction would still report being satisfied with life in general provided their wives had reported a high degree of marital satisfaction. Researchers have posited that their findings can be attributed to the fact that, when a woman is satisfied with her marriage, she is more likely to do more for her husband and that this will have a positive effect on his overall quality of life. It was also discovered that wives became less happy if their husband became sick and they were required to act as a carer, though the same was not true of husbands. Researchers claimed that this can be attributed to the fact that, whilst men will often look to their wives to care for them whilst unwell, women are more likely to seek the help of their children. Academics have noted that their findings are of great importance as martial satisfaction and happiness have a significant impact on health and wellbeing.
Children who come from affluent families are more affected by divorce than those from poor families according to a study conducted by researchers at Georgetown University and the University of Chicago.
The study, which utilised data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, reviewed information concerning 4,000 children whom researchers divided into three groups in accordance with their families’ incomes, before considering how changes to their families' affected their behaviour.
Ultimately, researchers found that, following their parents having divorced, it was children from families with higher incomes and standards of living that were more likely to exhibit negative and/or harmful behaviour. Equally relevant, though, was the fact that it was these children that were more likely to benefit from being incorporated into stepfamilies when compared to children from lower-income families. In short, a divorce was more likely to have a significant effect, positive or negative, on wealthier children.
Rebecca Ryan, assistant professor of psychology at Georgetown University and the study’s lead author posited that this trend could potentially be attributed to the fact that children from more affluent families are more likely to experience a significant decline in their quality of life following their parents having divorced. She also noted that such children may need to move to a new home and/or school and that this can have a disruptive effect on them which, in turn, can alter behaviour.
With regards to children of lower-income families, Ryan observed that, as divorce is more common amongst this group, children may view parental separation as more normative and therefore find it less stressful.
Ryan added that she believes that programmes designed to prevent divorce are unlikely to prove to be as successful as those designed to improve the circumstances of low-income families arguing that: “programs designed to save marriage will not be as effective as programs that “enhance the quality of the socio-emotional or educational environments in the home.”
Generally, it is presumed that a couple that are considering a divorce will benefit greatly from a holiday but, according to a recent survey, getting away from it all might not be such a good idea after all! The study found that more than a quarter (27 per cent) of divorced people separated from their partners shortly after having returned from a holiday with their other halves. Additionally, ten per cent of respondents reported that it was a holiday designed to help them overcome problems within their relationship that left them feeling that a divorce was their only option. Ultimately, the study’s authors suggested that couples that go on holiday in the hope of resolving marital difficulties are simply more likely to find themselves arguing more – possibly as a result of the parties feeling that they are in a ‘make or break’ situation. Of the 2,128 married and divorced Britons that took part in the survey, 60 per cent reported that, whilst they felt a holiday together would improve their relationships, they found that this was not the case. Ultimately, whilst they believed that escaping everyday life would make them happier, strengthen their relationship and rekindle romance, the pressure of spending time with one another actually had a negative effect on many respondents’ relationships. So much so that as many as 15 per cent of those surveyed admitted that they realised they did not actually love their partners whilst they were away together. More surprising still is that the same number of people reported that they and their partner simply did not communicate with one another during their holidays, with a further five per cent stating that they found themselves planning their divorce. Fortunately, it’s not all bad news: 36 per cent of respondents claimed that a holiday together prevented them from getting a divorce.
The figures may show that the UK’s divorce rate has been on the wane in recent years but, with the Office for National Statistics (ONS) having recently revealed that a divorce was granted every five minutes in England and Wales in 2012, it’s clear that it is by no means uncommon for couples to bring their marriages to a legal end. Unsurprisingly, with the divorce rate having increased by 0.5 per cent in 2012, many commentators are arguing that the recession is behind this rise, with it being claimed that the economic downturn has actually had a delayed effect on the respective countries’ divorce rates. Essentially, couples may have wanted to divorce years ago but, due to increasing living costs and stagnant wages, they were unable to afford to. Now, with economic situation worldwide beginning to improve and consumer confidence growing, such couples are now beginning to feel like they will be able to live on one income and are therefore filing for divorce. The ONS’s report also revealed that almost two-thirds (65 per cent) of all divorces granted were issued to female Petitioners, that couples were most likely to divorce between their fourth and eighth year of marriage and that the average age at which people divorce is 45 for men and 42 for women.
Half of all people that have become divorced regret their decision to end their marriages according to a recent survey. As part of the study, researchers interviewed 2,000 participants from throughout the UK all of whom have either obtained a divorce or decided to end a relationship that had lasted for five years or more. The study revealed that 50 per cent of respondents regretted their decision to end their marriages or relationships, with a further 54 per cent stating that they were unsure of whether divorcing or separating from their partners had been the correct decision. In contrast to these findings, though, half of all respondents claimed that they believed that they were more content than they were prior to their divorce. Of those that took part in the study, 20 per cent claimed that they regretted their decision to end their marriage immediately, whereas 19 per cent reported that they regretted their decision within one week. Ten per cent of respondents claimed that they did not regret their decision for more than one year of their relationships or marriages having ended, however. 56 per cent of respondents reported that they believe that they did not value their marriage until their divorce had been finalised and 46 per cent claimed that their divorce made them realise that they had undervalued their partners. The survey also discovered the main reasons why individuals regretted divorcing or separating from their partners with the top three reasons being missing a partner, feeling like a failure and still being in love with the other party. Other reasons included feeling lonely, discovering that a former partner had formed a new relationship and the divorce having had a negative impact on any children that may have been involved.
Couples can avoid divorce if they make cups of tea for one another, leave romantic notes for each other around their house and run baths for one another according to a campaign funded by the Department of Education. The love nuggets programme – which was designed by charity OnePlusOne, who received nearly £3 million in funding to develop the campaign – is designed to encourage couples to proactively maintain and strengthen their relationships through romantic gestures and compromise rather than merely seeking support such as counselling when they begin to experience problems. Anyone that is interested in the advice in question can visit the love nuggets website where they can view various suggestions, hints, tips and tricks on how to be more romantic and improve their relationships. The campaign’s creators have described it as a means of helping people to 'uncover and celebrate the everyday things people do that make a happy relationship’. A few of the tips provided by the campaign include going to see a film that your partner wants to see but you don’t, dressing to impress and making them breakfast in bed. The campaign has been criticised, however, with many commentators arguing that the advice it provides is simply too superficial and fails to address the real causes of divorce and separation. Penny Mansfield of OnePlusOne feels differently, however, claiming that the love nuggets programme will help couples to pay more attention to the subtle things that can keep a relationship healthy and strong rather than becoming caught up in the problematic matters that crop up throughout their daily lives. She further claims that it is small acts of kindness that help spouses to enjoy a deeper connection, demonstrate their commitment to one another and also to resolve disagreement and conflict. OnePlusOne have received a total of £2.7 million in funding from the Department of Education and their current campaign has received the backing of popular relationship sites such as Netmums and dad.info. The Guardian have reported that the love nuggets programme has cost a total of £45,000, meaning that a significant portion of their assigned budget remains and that further efforts to improve the nation’s marriages and reduce its divorce rate are certain to follow.
Couples that have daughters are more likely to find themselves divorced according to the results of a study conducted by scientists at Duke University, North Carolina. Whilst this pattern has been identified previously – with many arguing that this is proof of the fact that men prefer sons – however, this study produced a very different explanation for this trend. The scientists involved in the study have discovered that female embryos are more resilient than male embryos and are therefore more likely to survive stressful pregnancies. Researchers have also noted that, should a mother find herself in an unsatisfactory relationship, that she is likely to produce a larger amount of the stress hormone cortisol. This, in turn, can affect an embryo but, as female embryos are more resistant , they are more likely to survive. Researchers therefore proposed that girls are simply more likely to be born to couples whose relationships are already troubled. The study also revealed that couples that had stated that they had experienced problems within their relationship were also more likely to have daughters in the years that followed. In order to conduct their study, researchers relied on longitudinal data gleaned from a sample of American citizens from 1979 to 2010. The study’s authors also concluded that, as a result of their findings, it may be worth conducting further studies in order to determine how such circumstances affect outcome other than divorce.
As many as 42,000 London-based couples are unable to get divorced as they feel that they would be unable to afford to live in the capital if they separated from their partners according to a survey conducted by IllicitEncounters.com. The site, a niche dating service for individuals seeking extra-marital affairs, currently have 110,000 members located in London, 38 per cent of whom reported that they had put off a divorce as a result of rising house prices and had instead sought an affair. One respondent – located in Highgate, North London – claimed that both she and her husband would have separated two years ago but for the fact that they would both be required to rent new properties and that, as this would cost them both more than their current mortgage, they would both be unable to maintain anything even remotely resembling their current quality of life. She admits that having an affair is not an ideal solution to the problem but that, for the time being, it meets her needs and also provides her with the opportunity to meet men who are in a similar situation to herself. A spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com added that the site has seen a significant increase in the number of Londoners that are joining as a result of rising property prices having forced them to remain in marriages that they would prefer to end.
Thanks to rising house prices and the cost of renting, stagnant wages and a population that still has very little faith in the economy, it should come as no surprise that more and more people are querying whether or not they will be able to get a divorce whilst still sharing their matrimonial home with their spouse. Fortunately, it is possible, but you and your spouse must be living separate lives. To put it another way, you must be living in separate households whilst sharing the property. Yes, we know it sounds strange, but this is the terminology used by legal professionals and the court alike and, once it’s been explained to you, it should make perfect sense. The first thing that you need to do is think of property and households as separate things. A property is simply a building comprised of bricks and mortar within which people can live. A household, on the other hand, is not a property but a collection of people who not only live together but share common goals and work towards these together. Individuals living in a household are therefore, to all extents and purposes, sharing their lives with one another and not merely living together. So, if you separate and continue to reside in the same property you will need to be living in separate households in order to file for and obtain a divorce. This means that you cannot share a bedroom, prepare meals for one another or eat together, socialise together, share bank accounts or complete tasks for one another. If you do engage in such behaviour, you and your spouse will be deemed to still be living in the same household and your application for a divorce dismissed. Fortunately, with a well drafted divorce petition that outlines your arrangements in detail, it is extremely unlikely that it will be necessary for you to provide any further proof of how you and your spouse live separate lives to the court. It is for this reason that, if you intend to file for a divorce and you and your spouse do still live in the same property, it is highly advisable that you obtain professional help. Fortunately, with Quickie Divorce, you can get just that without needing to pay extortionate solicitor’s fees. If you’d like advice on divorcing whilst sharing a property, or any other matter concerning divorce, click here to request a call from one of our advisers.
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